I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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