Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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