Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
