just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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