My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
