I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
