Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
