she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
