even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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