No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
i think i just lost a toe
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
