I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
