took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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