you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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