All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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