my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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