Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
