just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
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If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
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I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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