Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
