i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
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Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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