fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
