I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
