you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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