oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
