Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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