we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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