miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
