Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
