yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
