Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
