glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
this just has baby written all over it
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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