No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
