I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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