Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
