He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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