There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
