Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
