Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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