he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
