Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
My feet surprised me
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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