Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
The beer is more important than you right now.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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