He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
