The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
