Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
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