i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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