This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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