Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
