Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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