If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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