I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
