I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
