So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
