if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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