I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
