Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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