I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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