Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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