p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
