Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
