Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
