We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
