he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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