i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
