Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
