I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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