So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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