Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize