He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
