yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
